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It is that time of year for me when the wind goes out of my sails. It feels like I have a wet blanket draped over me and everything takes extra effort to get it done. I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and have chronic depression. I have been afflicted with depression since I was a teenager and have had enough episodes that I am on antidepressants pretty much permanently. My last major episode was 9 years ago.
I have to manage my depression so I can take care of my kids. It is a awful struggle sometimes.
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That's the rub, when you have special needs kids you can't give up. You may want to, but really you can't. There is always some battle to fight and you have to muster up the resources to meet the challenge. Because if you don't some of the progress you may have gained with your child may be lost.
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So here I am stuck in low gear. I have a calendar to keep track of must do appointments, a Daily List of 3 to get done house-wise and a weekly list of how ever many to take care of school issues. I have my weekly counseling sessions, walking club once or twice a week and have yoga once a week, so I am doing my best to keep my "me" appointments. The Daily List of 3 consists of things like doing laundry, vacuuming and taking out the garbage. That is where I am at, I have to make a list to ensure I keep our house livable, my kids have clean clothes, and the house stocked with food. So for the next few months I am going to do my best to keep blogging, but it is not at the top of the list, even though it is a "me" activity.
So even though I have antidepressants, exercise, a SAD light and my friends for support, the wet blanket is still here. Managing my depression is the best I can do until it lifts.