The thing is, I also suffer from depression. I am a three time loser in the depression wars. I am on antidepressants for the long term. Even though I take the medicine, my depression will wax and wane according to events in my life, just like anybody's mood would. I don't take enough medication to elevate my depression entirely, just enough so I can function on a daily basis. It is a delicate balance. After Random Guy was born I suffered from postpartum depression, which was my last major episode. I have reduced my antidepressants so I can stay alert enough to care for my kids and keep track of everything. I have to cut back to the basics for now. The basics includes a clean house (not tidy, clean,) clean clothes, clean kids, food and making it to all the weekly appointments. Stack on allergies, Atomic Punk's work stress (yes, I am his sounding board too,) and SensiGirl having impacted 6 year molars and I just want to give up. It's like living under a wet blanket.
|image via: http://drawingwithlights.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/DSCF0542.jpg|
There comes a time when you have to pick and choose your priorities, right now it has to be myself. If I go under, the whole family does too. So I sent my regrets to the Parent Resource organizer and my storyteller friend and am just trying to stave off the impending depressive episode. I can't not function at this point. It is a struggle. Blogging is in that narrow area between taking care of me and giving of myself; so I may be a bit irregular in my posts the next few weeks or so while I get myself sorted out.
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