Reappraisal: An important skill

What emotions do you see when you look at these faces?

image via:  http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7041164.stm 

image via:  http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/teenbrain/art/fear1.jpg 

According to studies, most typical teenagers interpret it as shock or sadness when really it is fear. When your kid is saying they are afraid you will be upset at them for doing something...it may be this face they picture.
Misinterpreting emotions on faces is not just something that kids and adults with ASD (autistic spectrum disorder,) have trouble with. Children and teenagers wrestle with it too. There are numerous emotion/nonverbal communication and social apps and computer programs designed to teach individuals with autism the facial expressions of emotions. Its not only facial expressions that they have trouble with, it is also judging whole social situations.  Interpreting situations that they find troubling are challenging to individuals on the autistic spectrum. They may just ignore their feelings, rather than analyzing the situation to come up with a more plausible conclusion. This is the piece of social interaction that needs to be dealt with and taught instead of endlessly quizzing your child on other's expressions or to constantly remind them to make eye contact.

The Four Forms of Reappraisal
image via:  http://anders.janmyr.com/:
"Notes on Your Brain at Work"

Stanford researchers find that ASD individuals use less effective emotional regulation strategies than neurotypicals. Many use suppression of feelings rather than use reappraisal of situations in interpreting social interactions. This is the key to successfully dealing with others in social situations. It's not the misreading of faces, its what you do with the information. What other information is available to support the reaction? What other possibilities are there to explain the interaction. It's looking at the whole scenario rather than focusing on the minutia of perhaps culturally and individually variable facial expressions and verbal responses.

image via:  http://www.sitkins.com/blog/bid/41347/Office-Politics-Does-it-have-an-impact-on-your-results 

Reappraisal is important because you work through the possibilities of the problem to get to an acceptably plausible answer. If your friend doesn't acknowledge you when you greet them, it can be perceived as a snub, and then you suppress your hurt feelings, or you can reappraise the situation as maybe they were distracted or busy or didn't notice you said something. More often the ASD individual will attribute it to the negative interpretation and stuff hurt feelings rather than working through the social possibilities and coming up with the more socially and emotionally comfortable answer that the friend may have been busy and not noticed the greeting.

image via:  http://s3.cinemagnetics.com/artwork.html

If the goal is to teach useful skills for life, putting the emphasis on reappraisal rather than recognizing facial expressions may be the most beneficial way to go. Teaching emotions is important, especially to help your child label their own emotions and have some idea of how others feel. Teaching possibilities, and flexible thinking is even more important.



Source:
http://nesca-news.blogspot.com/2012/08/stanford-researchers-investigate.html
http://anders.janmyr.com/2012/05/notes-on-your-brain-at-work.html
interview with Deborah Yurgelun-Todd
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/teenbrain/interviews/
http://blog.autismspectrumdirectory.com/2011/01/14/ipad-ipod-touch-and-iphone-apps-non-verbal-and-social-communication-by-body-language/

Social Groups for Teaching Social Skills

image via: http://www.phschool.com/eteach/professional_development/teaching_the_social_skills/figure1.gif

I have said before that my kids are system based learners, so I need to give them systems to learn.  The randomness of some social interactions still puzzles them. Heck, some social interactions puzzle me. With kids on the autism spectrum they need systemic ways of learning social rules and manners.
Let's look at a systemic way of teaching some of these skills, social skills groups.  Random Guy has been in a social skills group at school since kindergarten. SensiGirl has her own social group with the Girls' Club at her school. Lunch buddies or peer mentors at school have been helpful too. Some schools don't have these programs, or your kids are at a developmental stage or of an age where they need more help than a school pull out once a week, and you need to find resources for them in your community.
Our community has several venues for teaching these skills, look for similar groups in your area. The Autism Society of Minnesota has several groups now under the umbrella of the Eagle's Nest, divided by age to teach what it means to be social and instrumental social skills. They start at age 8 and go up to age 19 now. There has been a lack of community social outlet services for that older age group, but I am starting to see that change.  Our neighbors in Highland Park have the inclusive Highland Friendship Club for typical and special education teens ages 14 and up. The Jewish Community Center of the Greater St. Paul Area is very inclusive with programs for children and teens. We also have the City of St. Paul Adaptive Recreation, and Special Olympics Minnesota which teaches confidence and team work, as well as a venue for making friends and getting the kids involved in sports. The sharing of interests can open up opportunities for friendships.

Some parents have pointed out there is a distinct lack of social skills groups for ASD girls.  They have said that the American Girl publication A Smart Girl's Guide to Starting Middle School has been extremely helpful in explaining social situations the occur in school.

image: http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41YTQf1OdvL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click-small,TopRight,12,-30_AA300_SH20_OU01_.jpg

You must teach your children what is a friend and not a friend, as bullies will try to make light of aggressive behavior by trying to pass it off as friendship when caught. Random Guy and I have been having lots of discussions about what kind of behavior is that of a friend since he started reading the Wimpy Kid books.  The main character has displayed poor behavior towards his friends on several occasions.  He has blamed his bad behavior on his "best" friend, broken his friends hand and pointedly ignored another classmate and got the other kids to go along with that game. We have talked about how those actions are not those of a true friend.  The fact that the Wimpy Kid is so concerned about popularity also is a teaching tool;  I have told Random Guy that it is not how many kids like you, it's how well you are liked by your friends. If you know a series of books that is in the style of the Wimpy Kids books but shows good friendship behavior, let me know.  I need all the help I can get.

image: http://social-dynamix.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/Social-Skills.gif

A special thanks to SensiGirl's teachers, Random Guy's school social worker, and Marsha Baer of the Autism Society of MN
resource: Kay Burke, Ph.D., Hierarchy of Social Skills http://www.phschool.com/eteach/professional_development/teaching_the_social_skills/essay.html