Back to School: Getting to Know You Letters

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I have a letter that I edit and adapt for each of my children for their new teachers when they start a new grade. I have talked about it here: that's-what-happens
This year, SensiGirl has the same teacher as last year. WunderTeacher gets it. She is very intrigued by Sensi's various skills and is a pro at handling difficult behaviors. She plans and thinks ahead, so luckily our collaboration on SensiGirl's Getting to Know You letter for ESY makes writing a new one unnecessary. I do need to update her IEP since she participated in AIT therapy this summer and she will need her hearing protected during fire drills and keep listening headphones off for at least 6 months.
We have to make sure to attend the Open House for Random Guy. I send his father, the Atomic Punk, along since I don't do crowds very well and he doesn't seem to mind too much. That way he and the teacher get to meet, since they usually won't see each other again during the school year due to Atomic Punk's work schedule. It's helpful that they meet him so that when I refer to similarities between Random Guy and his father that they have seen the grown up version and can make connections about where things are going in Random's development.

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Random Guy is going to be getting a full update for his letter as there have been quite a few changes for him this last year. He is still having trouble socially and will need some help with navigating the 5th grade social scene. We have cemented most of his basic math facts this summer, but he still has trouble with the spiraling and looping that is Everyday Math. I have more work to do to change his math curriculum in his IEP. Luckily at his school I have allies in both the school social worker and the principal.

image via:  http://www.buzzle.com/articles/getting-to-know-you-activities-for-the-first-week-of-school.html 

The letter goes something like this:

                        Getting to Know Random Guy

I just wanted to share some information about Random Guy with you. He started wearing glasses for nearsightedness this summer. He prefers to be called Randy now rather than Random. R. is a great builder and has a wonderful visual memory.  He is interested in American History, Geography and Social Studies, (he’s really good with dates.) R. does well with spelling and is very proud of learning to cursive write. He loves all kinds of Legos themes, Pokemon and Dr. Who. He is a fan of the Wimpy Kid Books and of the Avengers.

He may not look at you or make eye contact while you are talking, but he is usually listening.  It sometimes is easier for him to concentrate when he isn’t looking directly at the speaker. He doesn’t like those unfamiliar to him to touch him or get in his space. We have found that he does better with getting to class on time if he has a locker or coat hook at the end of the row, otherwise he stands back and waits and waits for the others to finish up.

He has an IEP with the disability label of autism, please read it if you can.  In it there is a testing adaptation, R. is supposed to sit apart from the other children when he takes tests. R. likes to know the daily routine and will most likely memorize it. It helps if it is written somewhere he can refer to at first.  R. doesn’t like to be singled out for discipline in front of the class, he would prefer that you take him aside and talk to him privately or at least quietly.  He also has some trouble with reading facial expressions or understanding when someone is being mean to him right away, and sometimes has trouble with bullies because of that.

He will not report a bullying incident immediately, but will tell me or his father later that day, or the next day. If you see Random upset, this may be the reason.

 Please contact me if you need any other insights or information about Random.

Savvy Advocate Mom

h. 523-0966

c. 432-8605

So that is the gist of it. Let them know the good things, warn them about the things that might be issues in school and make sure they know that you are aware of them needing to read the IEP. I also usually call a meeting in October to make sure that any problems are ironed out early.  Good luck with your own "Getting to Know" letter. They are a tremendous help. 

Paper Monster Containment

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I have a paper problem. I am hesitant to throw away documents that at some point and time where important. My sister calls it my **it problem. It is one of the three or four things The Atomic Punk and I still have arguments about it.  I stack the papers in a pile on a shelf or a desk and keep adding to it until it becomes a problem and I have to find a place for it.

When you have a child in special ed. you get a lot of important papers. Your IEP is a legal document and you will probably have to refer to it a few times a year.  The problem becomes where to put all these papers.

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 When SensiGirl was first evaluated, her case worker gave me an expanding file folder to keep track of all the paperwork that was involved.  I went right out and got another one in a different color for Random Guy's stuff.  They have basic models for $6 at Walgreen's. It doesn't have to be fancy, but it is better if it is made of plastic to keep it sturdy. It helps if there is a slot for business cards too.
It is a place to put the copies of the evaluations, vaccination records, copies of birth certificates and the IEPs.  I take mine to every meeting I have with teachers or administrators at school.  I put all of the meeting paperwork in the folder as soon as I go to leave. This folder is also a place to keep examples of their work so that if anyone needs to see if they are capable of a certain skill, you could very well have an example of what they can do right there. Keep a notebook or paper tablet and some pens in there for good measure.
It is also a good place to keep copies of your Getting to Know letters, just in case your computer crashes, so you don't have to start from scratch. It can be a place for small keepsakes too, I keep the note I received from SensiGirl's preschool teacher after she completed preschool.  That thank you note helped me so much during her transition to Kindergarten.

That's What Happens...

When we started reading the diagnoses books, answering the quizzes and using the assessment tools it became apparent that not only were our children on the autism spectrum, but we were too. My husband, the Atomic Punk, is very musical, is an electrical engineer and has engineering in both sides of his family: his mother and his paternal grandfather. I am adopted, but my developmental history is dotted with quirkiness, to say the least.  I have sensory issues; I rocked all the way from infancy to about 5 years old. I read early, drew a lot and as my dad said, was a wealth of useless information. The only difference between then and now is there is the DSM-IV diagnostic manual to tell us what are the names for these differences.

When you put Savvy Advocate genes with the Atomic Punk's multi-generational engineering genes, you get atypical kids. Neurodiversity is the term for it now. I find that comforting somehow. Here is the introduction to the book by that name: We are not surprised by the fact that we have two children on the spectrum.

 Your-brain-is-a-rain-forest

Each school year I share the introduction to Neurodiversity by Thomas Armstrong with my children's teachers.  It's my follow up to the Getting to Know Random Guy and Getting to Know SensiGirl letters that I send before the school year begins. 

The Introduction/Getting to Know letters are a one page brief of all the little quirks that you won't find listed in the IEP. A small thing like Random Guy is more comfortable when he can see the daily schedule. He likes to know what is coming up; it makes the transitions from class to class easier. Big things like SensiGirl is terrified of Veggie Tales, the mere mention of it will turn her into a screaming noodle on the floor. SensiGirl's Kindergarten teacher also said it was really helpful to know the statement “...or a mustache," really meant not liking ANY of the choices SensiGirl is given at that moment.

 I list all the therapies she is doing and how they effect her. I try to include the things that may have surprised last year's teacher. Basically the Getting to Know letter will include: abilities and deficits, fears, therapies and effects, medical issues and motivators. Be sure to include the best way to reach you and an invitation to contact you. 

Really there is nothing better than to meet and communicate with the kids' teachers on a regular basis.  It is always good to relate to them the traits you and your spouse share with your child. It gives the teachers perspective; even though the kids are quirky now, that doesn't mean they can't be successful in school or as adult. The quirks don't matter as much after you grow up and find your path in life.  In fact that path might lead you to someone who is a whole lot like you.

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